Families

There is an assumption in the social hierarchy of our world that we start as children, grow into parents, then become grand, or even great grandparents. Inevitably though there will be those who, for whatever reason, do not follow this beaten path through life but can still experience the joys that go with the grandparent role. For this to happen the same level of trust must exist between adult and child despite them not being related to one another. The trust might take longer to build but it is entirely possible and as it happens this is the position we find ourselves in since our own lives have not taken the path towards becoming grandparents.

Some years ago we got to know a growing young family, which now consists of no less than four children, and we have been a part of their young lives as they have grown taller and wiser, this being something that children do. We think of them as if they were our grandchildren and to an extent we fill that role in their lives since they now live quite close by whilst their 'real' grandparents live many miles away in the south of England. The trust that they have in us must be handled carefully, as is true in many other situations but the pleasure that comes from being with them is immeasurable.

Which was how I found myself teaching a ten year old boy how to ride a bike in our local play area. The bike involved, my old mountain bike with knobbly tyres and front suspension, had been at home sitting around unused for some years but after a bit of cleaning, fixing a puncture and then lowering the saddle it found a new lease of life in the hands of this young boy.

So how does one go about teaching someone to ride a bike? Well fortunately we had a head start since a 'balance bike' had been part of his upbringing so we started by discussing brakes - what they do and how to use them. Our first riding session was in the road outside our house, which is on a slope and therefore far from ideal, but with me supporting the saddle from beneath he wobbled his way slowly downhill as he got the feel of using the brakes to slow down. Next came pedalling, the most difficult part being setting off from a standstill. We took this in steps. First, balance the bike with one foot on the ground (holding the brakes if needed). Next, the other foot is used to lift the pedal close to the top of its stroke then place the foot on it, ready to push. Finally on the count of three pedalling starts and one might think the rest is easy but it is not. Each action requires concentration and whilst correcting a wobble with the handlebars his legs temporarily pause until he remembers what they should be doing. What he did understand from the start is what he called 'muscle memory', the idea that he could focus on doing one thing whilst another part of his body continued doing something else, and this helped him a lot by encouraging him to keep trying to ride, each time getting better. By the time we got to the play area later in the day he was pushing off without my support, using the steps we had gone through to get going and riding on his own with only my verbal guidance and encouragement as I jogged alongside him.

I have no memory of learning to ride a bike myself. It is a skill that once learnt at a young age lasts a whole lifetime without any conscious effort. The thing we refer to as muscle memory is what enables us to do both simple and complex tasks like swimming, playing a musical instrument, even just walking, and it can last forever. I had no preconceptions about whether I would be able to pass on my own knowledge and skill but I seem to have managed it and found joy in doing so. I look forward to his next visit then perhaps one day soon we can take him on a ride with us so he can master the basics of riding on roads and coping with all the hazards that go with this.