Families

'Who'd have 'em.'

But we all do. We may not have any choice in selecting them as individuals but they are there for us all. Sometimes, however, we can also have friends who we regard in the same way as if they were actually part of our family, long term friends who have always been there and we have known them as they have grown older in the same way that we and our real family have. We don't really have a name for those who fall into this category - 'good friends' somehow doesn't quite seem to fit the bill.

Many years ago, long before this blog began, back when we had a young family, we sailed across the North Sea to Holland in a rather small sailing boat called Noggin the Nog. In hindsight this now seems like a crazy thing to have done with three small children on board but the outcome of this trip was that we met for the first time a Dutch family with whom we have remained friends ever since.  

This picture shows both dads, one British and one Dutch, rowing their similarly aged children around a harbour in Holland. We enjoyed each other's company in a way we could not have predicted, something that was greatly assisted by their command of our English language (we have since realised is common to many of their compatriots). But it did not end there. We returned a second time (in a slightly larger boat) and since then this family has sailed across the North Sea to visit us at one or other of our homes on several occasions.

The children, two girls, have also remained friends with us through the years as they have grown taller (Dutch people are the tallest nation on earth) and Maartje, the youngest, has come to stay with us on various occasions, even staying with us when we spent a winter in northern Italy many years ago.

So it seemed perfectly natural when she contacted us recently and announced that once again she was planning a trip to Scotland and would like to visit us. On this occasion, however, she would travelling by bike and would be accompanied by Leo, her recently acquired boyfriend. The idea of cycling across the country from their port of arrival, Newcastle, to the West of Scotland did seem rather ambitious at first but we know her from old as a very determined lady and anyway the bicycle is the natural way to travel in her home country so why should it not be possible somewhere else. After a little research we discovered that there are cycle routes mapped out running both north and south and across Britain which largely avoid roads, particularly busy ones, so we assumed that they would be using these when they could. Sadly, however, the weather did not play ball entirely and this must have taken the edge off some of their plans. Whilst both are keen cyclists - indeed Leo works as a cycle mechanic for a living - after camping for a few nights they made the sensible decision to book into a B&B and then took a train from Edinburgh for another part of their journey.

In their few days spent with us we took them for local walks and tried to give them a flavour of our world before they continued their tour. Their plans seemed to change rapidly each time we spoke but finally we carried both them and their bikes to the Cloanaig ferry terminal to save them a rather brutal hill crossing then waved them off as they boarded for the short crossing to the Isle of Arran.

Quite unexpectedly these few delightful days spent with our 'Dutch Daughter', as we like to call her, have triggered the arrival of some thoughts into our heads that did not exist before. If they could come across the sea to us with just their bikes, carrying everything they need, and survive happily in the mix of weather that has been thrown at them, might we be able to do something similar in Holland, a country so much more cycling-friendly? So we do some research.

We soon discover that there is an app you can have on your phone (of course there is!) produced by Nederland Fietsland which provides detailed information about a whole series of cycling routes across and around Holland. As well as avoiding busy roads these routes seem to follow paths specifically designed just for cycling where they can. The maps provided can also be enhanced to show cafes, campsites and potential overnight accomodation in bunkhouses too, all of which seems just too good to be true. Our bikes, being electric, might need recharging overnight and to avoid carrying too much luggage we would avoid camping but the possibility that we might be able to take a holiday in this way is quite exciting. Once again we are completely overawed by the different world that awaits us just across the North Sea, a world so much more cycle friendly that we might be able to step into and explore without many of the burdens that we would be faced with here at home. Added to this, naturally, is the fact that Holland is flat and we have found that we can pedal our bikes quite easily on flat roads here without using any electric power at all. To have a whole country at our disposal seems just amazing.

We must be realistic, of course. Winter is never going to be the right time for us to do something like this. We are not in our first flush of youth so we must chose a time when we have the best chance of better weather whilst also avoiding the height of the tourist season. Roll on Spring then.

Blackbeards

For reasons best known to our son Ben, some years ago his music career took him into a leading position in an exciting band called Blackbeard's Tea Party.

Sadly for us, however, our opportunities to hear them playing their riotous brand of folk rock music in a live setting are limited since they have yet to cross the border into Scotland for one of their gigs. Which means, of course, that we must travel south in order to see them perform live. We are grateful for the fact that the north of England is often a preferred area for them to play so the travelling is less than it might have been but even so, we face a lengthy drive into a foreign country (as it often feels) to meet up with them.

The chosen venue on this occasion is Reeth, a tiny village in Swaledale, on the edge of the North Yorkshire National Park, a place that seemed able to offer us some quieter roads on which to cycle plus some energetic walking routes. So rather than make the long drive just for the gig, why not take a short vacation and spend several days there. This, then, is a summary of our trip, or holiday as we like to think of it, which culminated in the Blackbeard's gig.

The process of taking a holiday always takes a certain amount of pre-planning, preparing and modifying lists of things we must not forget for this activity or that possible contingency. If cycling is on the todo list then this involves a whole new set of 'forgetables', any one of which might completely scupper the adventure. We have a cycle rack which clamps on the back of the van and by some mysterious piece of magic this is capable of carrying two bikes without them falling off, despite them being shaken about as we bounce over the many lumps and bumps in the road. Fitting the rack requires a spanner and a key, both of which need to be kept safely to hand should we want to remove the rack on arrival. Also, being electric, each bike has its own key but in addition we like to carry a strong cable lock so we can secure the bikes somewhere if needs be when we are out and about. So this means another key. When the bikes are loaded behind the van we have a waterproof cover for them which itself has a stowage bag for when it is not in use. Then, of course, there are our cycle helmets, gloves, hi-viz jackets and waterproofs for when we are riding, all of which need to be stored conveniently ready for use. We have discovered that once the bike rack is attached we can no longer open the rear door of the van, another point to be considered if there is anything we need to store there. When riding we must also carry enough basic tools to enable us to fix punctures and carry out repairs. What at first thought might seem simple has suddenly become considerably more complex.

None of this puts us off, however. We are experienced travellers and are used to having many things to think of before going away. Our campervan has a fresh water tank, which needs to be filled. Bedding, toothbrushes and washing things must be on board and we must stock up with food, enough for several days at least. Finally, the truth is that we will always forget something; we just have to hope that whatever it is is not essential.

We divided the long drive south into two so we could do some shopping in Glasgow on the way then parked up for our first night at Gretna, just inches away from Scotland's border with England. For the following day we planned a route which avoided main roads (not our favourite places) and as a result we soon found ourselves driving on narrow lanes which snaked across the moors, diving down low every so often in order to cross a river then shooting up steeply again.

The sun shone all the way, the clear air giving us spectacular views until eventually we descended into Reeth and navigated our way onto the campsite where we parked up close by, but not underneath, an apple tree which was clearly shedding its load. We had arrived early enough to go off for a walk so on went the boots and out came the map. After crossing the river Swale on a wobbly footbridge we found the planned return route, a river crossing on stepping stones, to be impassable due to the height of the water so we took to the fields, climbing up high past flocks of sheep to reach a designated cycle route along the valley. This eventually brought us back to Reeth, although the walk proved much longer than we had planned, so a visit to the Buck Inn for a curry and a pint was needed in the evening.

As day two dawned the pheasants wandering around the orchard woke us so we were able to prepare early for the cycling day ahead. Once again the sun shone brightly and having now gained some local experience we decided that we could safely assume that the village of Keld, some distance up the valley, was bound to have a place to eat so we could avoid carrying food with us. In this respect we were correct although the first few miles of 'level' roads turned out to be nothing but. Instead there was a constant series of short ups, each of which required a boost of electric power from our bike motors to surmount, followed by short downs. We were prepared and had been warned about the last section, a very steep rise into the tiny village which hung on the side of the hill. We were soon there and after a decent snack and a chat with some fellow tourists we broke every speed limit on the return journey (bikes can go scarily fast downhill if you don't use the brakes) although our legs were getting pretty wobbly by the time we made it back to camp.

Finally day three, the day of the Blackbeard's gig, arrived. We decided to make this another walking day and chose a circular route towards the ruins of Marrick Abbey. From here the 'Nun's Steps' section suddenly made us realise that our legs were on their third day of exercise and perhaps we might have over-reached ourselves. But after a lunch stop - we had our own food this time - we continued across yet more sheep and cattle-filled fields and made it back in plenty of time to meet up with the band as they were setting up for the gig.

And what a gig! 

The village hall filled to capacity, everyone stomping their feet or leaping about at the front, cheering and clapping madly. The tiny stage forced the band to restrain their usual leaping and jumping performance but this detracted nothing from our enjoyment. We take immense pride in seeing our son playing

and the support from the appreciative audience was just terrific.

________________________

So to summarise. What are our impressions of the North York Moors, an area I was previously totally unfamiliar with?

On first sight the views are quite startling, rolling hills divided up by the dry stone walls, these alone being remarkable pieces of architecture on their own right.

Mature trees are dotted about everywhere in the lower valley, each one forming part of a field boundary, but these trees are all quite old and very seldom did we see the next generation of trees growing. The stone walls contained countless fields of sheep, far more sheep than humans despite the area catering for holidaymakers in large numbers. Then above the valley, the stone walls stopped and the moor began although it was clear that this was managed for a different purpose. The sound of gunfire, shooting, could be heard all through the day and on our last day a muirburn (a Scottish word) was being carried out, smoke drifting right across the valley, blotting out the light. Despite appearances this is not wild country - every inch is managed for one reason or another - and realising this takes away some of the pleasure for me. It is a land managed for the farming of sheep, an animal that leaves a landscape devoid of trees or other wildlife and for me, much of the visual pleasure is diminished by this.

Volunteering

Having moved away from Carradale village, we promised ourselves that in our new location we would not take on any of the rather onerous community responsibilities that we had previously saddled ourselves with. We would do this by avoiding joining local committees, this being the route to over-commitment, and so far we have been successful in this.

But this does not rule out volunteering.

The local community trust that manages the remains of our village's ancient castle needs volunteers to help maintain the paths and surrounding gardens and this is a regular once a month activity that I seem to have talked myself into. Then of course there are the beach cleans - periodic organised attempts to remove human debris from a small area of our coastline - which we are happy to participate in. Then, quite suddenly and at short notice, a message appeared on a local social media page requesting help from 'someone with sailing experience'. How could I resist.

The Royal Yachting Association (RYA) provides a qualification for yacht skippers which is recognised throughout Europe, perhaps even further afield. This is essential for someone who wants to make commercial use of their boat, hiring it out for holidays or other adventures. To qualify fully as an RYA Yachtmaster requires passing a theory exam followed by a practical test of your ability to handle a vessel, something that includes giving appropriate directions to the boat's crew so that boat handling, manoeuvring, mooring, sailing, motoring, etc., is all carried out correctly and safely. On a sailing boat the practical part requires you to have at least two crew members to whom you can give directions and this was what the 'sailing experience' request was all about. As it happens, being a crew member for the exam is a role I have filled before so it seemed perfectly natural, therefore, for me to put myself forward for this once again. It turned out, however, that on this occasion there would be a few things I wasn't quite expecting, so it turned out to be quite an exciting day.

The first little twist was the weather. The forecast wind on the chosen day would have discouraged most sailors from leaving port - 25 knots or more with gusts of over 40 knots and torrential rain showers, albeit interspersed with bright sunshine. Along with this there was a sudden drop in temperature brought on by the north westerly wind coming down from somewhere closer to the Arctic Circle. I would certainly need all my wet weather sailing gear and many more layers of clothing than I had worn all summer. Added to this, however, was the fact that the qualification now requires the boat to be sailed and navigated at night, in total darkness, which explains why we left the shelter of the harbour around four o' clock in the afternoon. By this time what heat there was in the day was disappearing fast, being sucked away by the rain showers which kept sweeping down from the surrounding hills.

Once on board the yacht I was briefed by the skipper, a Belgian man called Robin, whose command of English was thankfully very good, and he was first asked by the examiner to do a series of manoeuvres around the marina before we set off to sea, bringing the boat safely alongside a pontoon so that the crew could step off with mooring lines and secure the boat. All went well with this so we then left the harbour where my job as crew, and after stowing away the fenders and mooring lines, was to raise the appropriate sails so the engine could be switched off and we could begin to make our way upwind to our eventual destination some ten miles away.

The sailing boat was normally sailed by just the skipper and his wife as crew, and at over forty feet in length this was a sizeable sailing cruiser on which they had been living for some years. The deep keel made her a powerful sailing boat, so long as the crew were strong enough to raise the heavy mainsail and tension the sheets on one or more of the headsails as well. Which of course was where I came in. My role on board was to act solely on the directions of the skipper, no matter what I might think should be done, since this was part of what he was being tested on for the RYA qualification. So as soon as we started sailing upwind, pounding into the short choppy seas with spray flying over the boat interspersed with the rain showers, my role was simply to hang on and keep my head down to avoid getting too wet.

After a few tacks we sailed into the shelter of an island where we were required to anchor the boat, manoeuvring completely under sail, which again our skipper managed quite successfully. Once anchored the sails were lowered, but not for long as we then set off again, raising the sails once more as the boat leapt about in the waves, to continue our passage up the loch to reach a more sheltered stopping place known locally as Otter Ferry. I have sailed a variety of boats, some big, some small, so none of this was beyond my experience but it was, nevertheless, one of the most exciting bits of sailing I have done for a long time. I took a turn on the helm as we powered our way northwards at over six knots, the boat heeled over as the gusts blasted in, and I was impressed by the way she handled herself such conditions. I was less impressed by the bucketloads of spray that kept drenching me and my fellow crew member and I could feel the heat gradually seeping from my body as the night closed in. But despite all this we made it to our mooring just as the last of the remaining daylight slipped away.  

I think we were all rather relieved when having secured the boat to a mooring buoy we could go down below into the shelter of the saloon where dinner was being heated up for us. Warmth gradually returned to our bodies and we could hear the wind had moderated outside so perhaps our journey home might be a little less fraught. Before we could do this, however, the skipper's next task was to sail the boat into another small harbour, this time docking in total darkness alongside a pontoon without the help of the engine. For those who are not aware, sailing boats do not have brakes. So the only way to come alongside safely is to lower the sails at precisely the right moment and let the boat's momentum carry you slowly in until close enough for your crew step off and get the mooring lines secured to stop any further motion. There is no turning round and trying again if you get it wrong, no second chance, and if you don't get the boat close enough the crew should never fearlessly leap across the gap onto the dock - there is too much chance of something going wrong with this. I am happy to report that our skipper judged things perfectly and it all went without a hitch, the boat coming to a stop at precisely the right point.

Sailing back home was a downwind run, uneventful in the lighter wind and the clouds had also rolled away revealing a beautiful starlit night with a faint glow from the aurora to the north. It was now after midnight and by this point the cold had penetrated all the extra clothing I had put on so when our home port finally came in sight it was most welcome. My job for the day would soon be over. All in all I found the experience exhausting but very satisfying and the skipper and his partner seemed grateful that everything had gone so well.

More importantly this seems to show that even sailing opportunities can be found simply by volunteering.

Looking ahead

Nothing in life stays the same forever. Age comes along and messes up most things eventually but well before that, for us anyway, our everyday activities are subject to change. We moved into our present house nearly two years ago, a new location, with different places to explore around us which in turn brought us different ways in which to spend our leisure time. Gradually and often imperceptibly our lives have changed. One of these changes is in the way we shop. We have multiple choices now and they are closer to home, an easy distance to walk with a shopping trolley. There are even two different hardware shops close by, something which is difficult to understand when you have lived in a tiny village for so long. It feels like we have moved into a city! Then there is the way we move about. We like to walk, or cycle if we can but to go further afield we now have the benefit of a long distance bus which we can easily hop on to if we ever feel inclined to visit our nearest city, Glasgow. So perhaps it is inevitable that we should reconsider all our activities, the things we do indoors, along with the things we like to do when the weather is appropriate to spend time outdoors.

Decorating the house has been a big thing for us and then the garden has taken a lot of time and effort to bring it to the point where it has what we regard as the right mix of wilderness and cultivated areas. Creating a pond, one with the right mix of wild things that can look after themselves all year, has been a learning experience. It requires patience, the aim being to step away and let the beetles and bugs do their thing in peace. They have been doing this since long before humans came along so there is really no need for us to mess around trying to make the water right for them. Once they are 'happy' then other animals, amphibians perhaps, will be attracted to live there too. It took a few modifications before we managed to get the pond water level to stay constant - not too shallow when we have a dry spell but topping itself up from the garden runoff when it rains and a nice boggy area for it to overflow into. We have already spotted some small frogs in and around the pond and are looking forward to the next frog breeding season, the early spring, to see whether they consider it suitable for their little ones.

As the growing season comes to an end our garden's wild bits, which we have left completely alone, present a challenge if we are to follow guidance on managing this. At least once a year a wildflower garden should be mown, the idea being that this will allow the fallen seeds to germinate and by picking up the cut grass the soil will be less fertile, something that wild flowers enjoy. Mowing requires a heavy duty strimmer - the grass stems are waist high - and raking up all the cuttings afterwards is quite a physical task so we wait for a dry period to come along and when this does arrive the scorching sunshine that comes along too makes this a multi-day hot enterprise.

Internally our house is 'finished', not a term I ever thought I'd be using, but we have redecorated every room, stripped away all the wallpaper that came with the house and ripped up the floor coverings (carpet; including that laid in the kitchen and bathroom!), replacing them with something more to our taste. The last pieces of fresh wallpaper were pasted on with some relish since these may well be the last I ever stick up. My wallpapering skills will fade from memory over time, unless of course the whole lot slides off the wall and we have to start all over again.

So what is next, I wonder.

Something we have missed, being so busy working on the house since we moved in, has been our desire to roam further afield. Scotland is a country we love but we have still not explored it as fully as we would like.

So now we have the resources to do this we shall be pointing ourselves in a new direction. Our bikes are light enough to be slung on a carrier behind the van then unloaded when we reach a place with quiet roads or forest trails we can ride on. Already a few experiments have taught us our physical limits, in terms of distance and ruggedness so the future is beginning to look quite exciting.

Body changes

It is pretty obvious really. I mean first of all we are born, then we grow bigger and stronger until we reach a point where this stops. From here on although our body size may change little, various bits do begin to wear out. The speed with which this happens is delightfully unpredictable and we have very little control over which bits will wear out first. When we first begin to notice this we might consult with a doctor to establish what is happening to our bodies but there comes a time when the doctor will simply use one of the most upsetting phrases ever spoken...'This is fairly normal for someone of your age'.

One of the most noticeable changes to our bodies that happens as the years pass is the loss of a certain amount of hearing. We can all be grateful for the subtitles that appear on the TV screen when we're watching a foreign film (this is something we take completely for granted until they get the spelling wrong or something gets lost in translation) but to accept the need for them when the actors' words are in our own language, this is a big step to take. One might try to disguise it at first by saying that they are mumbling their words or that their (American?) accents are so strong that it is difficult to make out half of what is being said but gradually there comes a point where the subtitles are switched on for most, if not all, the TV programmes you are watching. The alternative to this, turning up the volume, is likely to be unacceptable to others in the vicinity, those whose younger bodies have yet to change in this way.

Of course there are these things called 'hearing aids', electronic devices that are supposed to improve the quality of one's life by boosting the sound frequencies that one's ears no longer respond to, mostly higher pitched noises. [At this point I did consider adding a picture of some sort to illustrate my text but only an audiologist gets to see inside my ears so instead I have found an appropriate icon.]

Based upon my own experience I can confirm that these gadgets are far from perfect. Go outside on a windy day with a pair of these things in your ears and you almost certainly won't hear the car coming up behind you until it is too late, let alone the voice of the person shouting a warning beside you. Then there is the issue of replacing the tiny batteries every few weeks without dropping the new ones and losing them, again something that can become more difficult as more bits of the body don't function as well as they used to.

Not long ago, however, some very clever person recognised all these problems and made use of some of the artificial intelligence floating around these days to build some more efficient gadgets to stick inside your ears, things that will recognise wind noise, for example, and suppress this particular frequency so the car engine can be heard. A few years ago a device like this might have required you to carry a computer-sized box around with you but thankfully these modern day things are tiny and barely noticeable when worn.

It has, however, taken me several steps to get to the point where I was prepared to try such sophisticated gadgets. One supposedly clever pair of hearing aids that I tried seemed to work fine until I walked past the self service checkout machines at our local supermarket. It appears that these things have cameras focused on you which emit bursts of electronic noise normally inaudible to human ears. The hearing aids did hear it, however, picking it up and passing it through into my ears as a violently loud clicking noise. Even the audiologist couldn't believe this could happen.

STUNT EAR

What I now have sitting quietly behind each ear are things that constantly adjust themselves to the environment they detect around me, mimicking in many ways what my brain once learnt to do. I even had a choice of colours - so naturally I chose silver to blend in with my hair. Wind noise now seems no worse for me than it is for those with younger ears and the devices seem to know when I am in a noisy place with lots of people talking and they do their best to suppress most of the chatter. These things go further, however, in that they use Bluetooth to pair with a mobile phone or a computer so that I can stream music straight into my ears or conduct a phone conversation with someone that only I can hear. This puts me on the same plain as many others in this modern age who walk around with earbuds playing music into their ears from a device hidden elsewhere on the body. Best of all my hearing aids use rechargable batteries which means no more fiddling around with changing the tiny things.

I am not kidding myself. I know my hearing will never again be perfect, no one can expect this. But the improvement once these gadgets are in my ears is both significant and, strangely, hardly noticeable now that I am used to wearing them.